Mmm, it is tough trying to define masculinity and the outward manifestation of it without referencing and comparing it to femininity or in this case, effeminacy. As far as I know (having been immersed in the world of gay men for the past 10 years - though my femaleness ultimately makes me an outsider), many gay men do associate "straight-acting" with one being masculine or hyper-masculine, Dominant and to a lesser extent, one being strictly top when it comes to intercourse. Despite the frequent and assumed overlaps, these things are essentially distinct. I can understand that many gay men find the entire package of alpha manliness appealing and conversely, refuse to accept that even the manliest man may not feel like he fits neatly into that tight little category all of the time and might be turned off by slip-ups (eg. their manly man enjoying chick flicks, crying, knitting pretty things, deferring to another man in and out of bed), be it in themselves or their partners. Adding to what Emily said, a truly secure man, straight or gay, wouldn't be trying as hard to keep up what is essentially a performance of masculinity and judge or seek others by theirs.
- Grace
- Grace
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